After reading the title you should be saying "and?" like in a sarcastic this-isn't-news sort of way. But for those of you who aren't up on AOL's latest tomfoolery, I want to tell you all about it.

When you search for something on your favorite search engine, we'll say google because that's probably what you use, all you searches are stored. In other words, there is a big database at google with your IP address, everything you've ever searched for (via google's permanent cookie), and the results you got (probably the one's you clicked on).

The only way to link this data back to you, specifically, is to get in touch with the ISP who can tie an IP address to an account or user. But if you think about it, people could probably identify you just by your searches, not even needing you IP address.

AOL is a bit different since they are an ISP and a search engine. They tie all your searches to your name and keep it in a big database. So here's how the conversation went last week at AOL:

Employee: Hey, we should release all of our search data into the wild!
Boss: Why would we want to do that?
Employee: Because it's pretty cool. Look at all this crap people are searching for - "Nazi Eskimo Lesbians" - I mean, we gotta show this stuff to the world, we'll be famous!
Boss: (is now staring at a paper clip picking his nose)
a long pause
The boss passes out drunk
Employee: Cool.

The employee then proceeds to upload several million search queries onto the internets. Instead of giving out usernames, though, he ties everything to a randomly assigned user ID.

No big deal right? He's protecting people's privacy, right? Wrong.

Let's have some fun, shall we? So even though AOL sobered up after the weekend and took down all this data, it was mirrored all over the place. Let's do some searches!

I enter the word clown, to see what kind of searches have been taking place, and come across user 3500164 who has searched for "pictures of shawn mayans and the clown on scary movie 2 under the bed trying to get the clown on scary movie 2" Okay, so immediately we know user 3500164 is retarded, because he doesn't know how to properly search for anything.

So I cross reference user 3500164 to see what else he has been searching for. Ohhh ... this guy really likes Shawn Wayans. I mean, really likes. To his credit, after 15 pages of searching for gay men pictures, he did do one search for nude women, maybe a friend used his computer? Oh, 3500164 also likes Final Fantasy 10, cheating at zelda, and 15 year old gay boys.

Moving on...

User 10898103 drives a Nissan, has a pest infested house, is a nark, and banks at amsouthbank.com

User 8390663 dates onlines, enjoys adult cartoons, plays games on yahoo, and wishes to be employed at Little Ceasars.

Here's where it starts getting scary. Keep in mind this is just what I've found searching the database for myself for a few minutes.

User 5683564 lives in Lake Chelan, Washington. He has a Doberman. He has searched for "Henry Jolly." He enjoys girl next door songs. One of their kids plays soccer. They live in the Utleyville neighborhood. They play morrowind. They cheat at Morrowind. They enjoy visiting the tri-cities area. They have a puma back pack. They visit Oasis water park in kenniwick. They own a Vivitar vivicam 4000. They go to Everett Clinic in Snohomish. They beat morrowind. They are contemplating a move to Florida. Their last name is Pike. Searched for "Dan Weyer" They really enjoy history.

You can see how easy it would be to drill this data down to find the person. I know their neighborhood, their clinic, what soccer league their kid is in, the places they go, and the people they associate with.

What was AOL thinking?

p.s. A fun gthing.net search is "is retarded." Look at all the things I think are retarded!