A GThing Science Project

"It is morally as bad not to care whether a thing is true or not, so long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your money as long as you have got it."

--Edwin Way Teale Circle of the Seasons (1953)

Photo Courtesy LIFE.

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk when a film crew rolled in to the office and started setting up their cameras and everything RIGHT BEHIND ME. Apparently I was supposed to be the backdrop for this commercial they were filming. Interesting how nobody told me...

The spokeswoman came up and stood directly behind my chair and started talking to the cameras, doing her lines. Nobody this entire time said anything to me, but it was clear that I was on camera and that my triple monitor desk was the main backdrop for the commercial.

I couldn't exactly have client data up on my screen, so I just started messing around. First I pulled up this on my far left monitor (Thanks, Dean). It's basically a countdown timer that flies by really fast with Arabic writing right above it. Innocuous enough, right?

On my main monitor I pulled up a rolling demo of one of the coolest looking games ever, Defcon. It looks a little something like this:

I also pulled up a satellite photo zoomed in on the White House and another map of the world that shows all my server traffic over the last several minutes (with lines all connecting to my server which happens to be in Washington D.C.).

On my far right monitor I pulled up a Windows virtual machine and put a BSOD on it. Then in my display preferences I flipped the monitor image 180 degrees so the whole thing was upside down. After all that, my desktop looked a little something like this:

I toyed with the idea of running MILF308, which is a program that shoots up TONS of ridiculous novelty popup windows that advertise all sorts of ridiculous internet warez, but I thought it would get too obvious - and some of them are a bit NSFW.

They filmed for an hour or two, me in the background the whole time hitting refresh on my Arabic countdown timer every time they said "action!" Nobody said a word to me the entire time. Finally at the end one of the film crew came up to me and said "So, uhh .... what are you working on over here?" I just told him I was keeping busy with some client reports and he walked off. Those are some pretty interesting client reports!

I can't wait to see the commercial. If I find it (I think it will be posted online), I'll definitely link to it here so you can see the evil genius in the background conducting thermonuclear war.

10. Dilbert Principle

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

The Takeaway: If you suck are your job, you're probably going to get fired ... unless there's a spot open in management.

9. Wirth's Law

Software gets slower faster than hardware gets faster.

Sam's law: Hardware gets faster faster than your wallet gets bigger.

8. Skitt's Law

The Likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster.

The takeaway: If you're posting a comment in a forum or on a blog in which you attempt to correct someone else's spelling or grammar, be sure to triple check for errors.

7. Occam's Razor

When two explanations are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest full explanation is preferable. Never multiply causes without necessity.

The Takeaway: How does electricity work? Magic.

6. Stugeon's Law

Sturgeon's Revelation: 90% of everything is crap.

The Takeaway: Just because you read book one of the Goosebumps series and hated it doesn't mean reading is a waste of time, you just need to find the 10% of books that are actually good.

5. Murphy's Law

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Finagle's law - "... and at the worst possible moment."

The Takeaway: Don't row boats below flying piano factories.

4. Clarke's 3 Laws

First law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Second law: The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.

Third law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Okay, I know three laws in one is cheating, but it's Arthur C. Clarke we're talking about - he gets to have three for one. A closely related adage is Shermer's law which states; "Any sufficiently advanced alien intelligence is indistinguishable from god." But since god created the planet and was therefore not born on it, I'd say god is an alien.

3. Hanlon's Razor

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

2. Dollo's Law

"An organism is unable to return, even partially, to a previous stage already realized in the ranks of its ancestors." Simply put this law states that evolution is not reversible.

The Takeaway: Sorry guys, it was a thought provoking movie but it's not our future.

1. Godwin's Law

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

The Takeaway: Nazi's are bound to show up at some point.

I have set up a new polaroid photoblog. Go check it out, you may be surprised to see yourself.

It's 4am and it's time to talk issues. It's important to know that when the White House phone rings at 3am, I won't have to wake up to answer it - I will already be awake. I'll be up for you, America, thinking about ... the issues.

Since I have announced my candidacy for president, many of you have voiced your support through emails, unsolicited telephone calls, and generous paypal donations, and I thank you. I feel that I owe it to you, my supporters to finally announce my platform.

So here are some key issues that I will be running on during my bid at President:

Abortion:

Abortion is a tough, emotional issue. Fortunately, my stance on the issue is unique. I plan to legalize abortions up to the 80th trimester. This will mean that any "dud" can be thrown back at any time up to twenty years. Did you discover any defects or rare neurological disorders in your offspring? Were they not apparent until too late? No worries, as long as you abort your child sometime before his 20th birthday you're okay.

Motto: It's never too late.

Innovation:

Innovation is something I feel very strongly about. I want America to regain its place as the world leader in innovation and I want to start with something near and dear to my heart: candy bars. Next time you go to the store, take a look at the candy bar selection. These are the same candy bars you grew up with! We have not innovated any new varieties in decades!

Sure, there are some candy bars that might say they're new, but they're all just variations on old candy bars. Just because you made a kit kat 4 times bigger and only put one in a package or put some mint flavoring in you "nouget" (I'm looking at you, 3 Musketeers) doesn't mean it's new. Did we really reach the pinnacle of tasty candy bars 30 years ago?

Motto: We didn't reach the pinnacle of tasty candy bars 30 years ago!

Lobbies:

Washington is currently run by the lobbies. Whoever can wine and dine the most elected officials and make enough "donations" to their campaigns makes the rules. I'm not going to change this practice (you should see the swag you get from drug companies). Instead, I'm going to add transparency to the system.

That's right, when I make my state of the union speeches, I will look like a fully sponsored Nascar driver.

Motto: E Pluribus Exxon!

Foreign Policy:

You may be concerned that I have no foreign policy experience, but I assure you this is not the case. I once lived next door to a japanese guy in college.

Motto: Toire wa doko desu ka!?

Do yourself and your country a favor. Come November, vote for Sam!

The form of energy we use to get from A to B is not the problem. Whether it's electric, internal combustion, nuclear powered, or peddle cars, we're missing the point. Using electric cars is is like treating skin cancer with a band aid.

The real problem is how we design our cities.

Ever since auto manufacturer's decided that everyone needs to have a car, and that they need to drive those cars everywhere, cities have been designed around the concept. Literally everything is deigned with only the slightest thought of where people will walk.

Go to your local mall. Try walking from the street, through the parking lot, into the mall. There probably isn't any place designed for you to walk. You're walking where the cars go, and battling them for space as you make your journey.

We gave our entire country to the auto industry, and now we're dependent on oil, pollute in excessive amounts, and design our cities so that they only way to get around is to own a car.

It didn't used to be like this. Here's a graph showing historical per-capita vehicle ownership.

Compare that graph with this one of obesity rates from 1960 to 2000:

I'm not saying that driving cars is making us fat, but I am saying that people used to walk a lot more. It used to be okay to walk two blocks to go to the corner store, but now we don't give hoping in the car a second thought.

Think about it - which of these two places would you rather live?

One place has lasting value, one place does not.

I saw an old photograph of downtown Provo and was surprised to see trolley tracks right down Center Street. Salt Lake City used to have one of the most impressive public transit systems in the country. Then the car came and made it all unnecessary. Now we all get to stay in our own little air-conditioned bubble as we move about the city.

So the solution for our energy crisis is not to come up with new innovative ways of powering a car (although that's okay too), it's to start designing our cities like they used to be designed. Remove our dependence on cars and the energy crisis solves itself.

Think of the effect that this would have not only on energy, but on pollution, obesity, social interaction, and an overall sense of community? This is the way the world should be.

Given the lack of anyone competent to vote for this election season, it is with great pleasure that I officially announce my candidacy for President. I will be running as an Independent because I'm pretty sure that means it's free.

My motto is "change you can really for reals believe in, really." Never before has "some guy" been elected president. Help me make this dream a reality!

I will officially run as "Sam" because I think America and I can be on a first name basis. Also notice that my thumb is dirty in my official campaign photo. That is because I am a real life hard working American and also I just repaired the tire on my bike.

My main focus is a free market and state rights. I will let poorly managed financial institutions go out of business and I will make it so citizens don't have to pay their neighbor's mortgages. I will veto any laws regarding social issues and ask the states to make their own decisions. I will not start any more destined-to-fail government programs.

Vote for me in November and I'll totally let you stay in the Lincoln Bedroom!

P.S. I need a running mate - apply in the comments!

Hey everybody, go take a sneak peek at my new blog, WEIRDBOT. There you'll find the weirdest, most bizarre stuff from around the Internet. It is still in the pre-launch phase so if you see something out of place in the theme, content, or whatever don't worry about it. I will be officially launching this blog this week or next.

Let me know what you think or if you have any good ideas!

Today I was introduced to Skurfing. Skurfing is a mixture of skating, surfing, and wakeboarding. Instead of holding a rope, the rope is tied to the board, and instead of you moving, the water moves beneath you.

There are only a few places where you can Skurf in relative safety - and one is right up in Spanish Fork. This is video of Brikon and Adam I took with my phone. I have some pictures too, which I'll upload as soon as Brikon sends them to me.

Microburst

Since it's been far too long, I present to you a brand new gthing.net wallpaper for your computer. This wallpaper is 1440x900 for 15" widescreen computers. I will convert to other sizes by request. Click the image above for the full size.

You can find more here.