For anyone who watches The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, you'll notice that it is once again off the air all week. It seems like the writer's strike has given Jon a taste for doing nothing and ever since he's practically taken every other week off. He must really hate his job.

When the show is on the air, they never even have a Friday episode. How can they call it the daily show if it is only on just over half of the days in a week? It should be called "The Four Days Every Other Week Show with Jon Stewart."

Of course, if Jon's not working then Colbert won't work either and the Colbert Report goes off the air. What am I supposed to do all week? Where am I supposed to get my news?

I went over to The Daily Show's official website to see if there was a way to contact the show, to let them know about my name change idea. Although there was no immediately apparent way to contact them, there was an option to "sign in" or "join the community." I thought "well if I can't contact the show, at least I can drum up support for my idea in the community," so I signed up.

Once you've joined the community, you will find yourself logged in with absolutely nothing new that you can do. No forum, no chat room, no comments form, no way to interact with any kind of "community." You're just logged in with no benefit.

So it's on to "Plan B." I'm going to write a book about something political, get invited on the show, and then tell Jon Stewart directly that he is lazy and needs to rename his show.

The form of energy we use to get from A to B is not the problem. Whether it's electric, internal combustion, nuclear powered, or peddle cars, we're missing the point. Using electric cars is is like treating skin cancer with a band aid.

The real problem is how we design our cities.

Ever since auto manufacturer's decided that everyone needs to have a car, and that they need to drive those cars everywhere, cities have been designed around the concept. Literally everything is deigned with only the slightest thought of where people will walk.

Go to your local mall. Try walking from the street, through the parking lot, into the mall. There probably isn't any place designed for you to walk. You're walking where the cars go, and battling them for space as you make your journey.

We gave our entire country to the auto industry, and now we're dependent on oil, pollute in excessive amounts, and design our cities so that they only way to get around is to own a car.

It didn't used to be like this. Here's a graph showing historical per-capita vehicle ownership.

Compare that graph with this one of obesity rates from 1960 to 2000:

I'm not saying that driving cars is making us fat, but I am saying that people used to walk a lot more. It used to be okay to walk two blocks to go to the corner store, but now we don't give hoping in the car a second thought.

Think about it - which of these two places would you rather live?

One place has lasting value, one place does not.

I saw an old photograph of downtown Provo and was surprised to see trolley tracks right down Center Street. Salt Lake City used to have one of the most impressive public transit systems in the country. Then the car came and made it all unnecessary. Now we all get to stay in our own little air-conditioned bubble as we move about the city.

So the solution for our energy crisis is not to come up with new innovative ways of powering a car (although that's okay too), it's to start designing our cities like they used to be designed. Remove our dependence on cars and the energy crisis solves itself.

Think of the effect that this would have not only on energy, but on pollution, obesity, social interaction, and an overall sense of community? This is the way the world should be.

Given the lack of anyone competent to vote for this election season, it is with great pleasure that I officially announce my candidacy for President. I will be running as an Independent because I'm pretty sure that means it's free.

My motto is "change you can really for reals believe in, really." Never before has "some guy" been elected president. Help me make this dream a reality!

I will officially run as "Sam" because I think America and I can be on a first name basis. Also notice that my thumb is dirty in my official campaign photo. That is because I am a real life hard working American and also I just repaired the tire on my bike.

My main focus is a free market and state rights. I will let poorly managed financial institutions go out of business and I will make it so citizens don't have to pay their neighbor's mortgages. I will veto any laws regarding social issues and ask the states to make their own decisions. I will not start any more destined-to-fail government programs.

Vote for me in November and I'll totally let you stay in the Lincoln Bedroom!

P.S. I need a running mate - apply in the comments!

Every once in a while, it's fun to make a retarded comment online, and see who responds and what they say. In nice, respectable places you don't do this - it's considered rude. In the evolutionary sludge that makes up Youtube commenters, however, it's too good to resist.

Youtube Commenters

So I watched this video by Rise Against. In it, they show clips of various animals being tortured or neglected. It's pretty much like a PETA shock film. Standard stuff.

So I left a comment on the video:

Did you see all the animals they tortured to make this video? Bands like this who kill animals for shock value make me sick.

And the flame war began.

No less than 20 people responded to tell me how stupid I am.

Really?

Here are some choice excerpts:

man your dumb.. they didint kill the animals.. they took footage from other people that filmed the animals being killed and put it in the video. dumbass

they did'nt tortured animals to make this video. They took shots of the cruelty in this world and they put it into their clip.

what the hell man their showimg what really happens in the world and they are trying to tell people to stop harming the enviornment and animals

oh shut the hell up! they didn't do it for the video it was recorded by other people 4 different purposes. all they did was put it all together to the video. how thick can u get?

omg are you stupid dude.... when they do make vids like this they use pieces from other documentaries from other companies on how they do it...how dumb can you get?

Hey not to burst your f**king bubble, but most of the videos they got from PETA, how dare you diss a band, when they are actually trying to get animal awareness out there. The dolphin footage, is from PETA, once again, find out something before you completly make an ass out of yourself by not knowing the facts

Okaaaay...so how many times does it need to be explained to this one guy/girl who made a stupid comment that the band didn't really butcher the animals? Maybe I'm just quicker than most but I got the point after the first "vegetable"arian spoke up.

Notice the lack of proper spelling and punctuation. Notice that every comment, with the exception of the last two, lacks a single capitalized letter. It's as if they same moron made all the comments. Unfortunately each comment is from a different user.

I lack faith in the future of the human race.

I left another response to all the people who commented back to me:

I read up on the video, and I heard from my friend that RA actually tortured and neglected these animals to make this video. It's about stopping animal cruelty, but they're the cruelest of all! How hypocritical can you be - seriously?!?!11?!

Expect the interwebs to explode at any minute.

Let me start of by saying McCain is an idiot. I don't like him. I don't like the things he says. I don't think he'll win the election, either.
On the other hand, I happen to like Obama. He seems like a much nicer man and is certainly a better speaker and good at rallying the people. These are important qualities of a leader. I think someone who can make people believe in America again is really, really important.

But I'm not going to vote for Obama. I'm probably going to vote for McCain. This is because I realize that no matter how much more I like Obama as a person and as a leader, his politics simply do not agree with me. For me it comes down to this:

Do I want more government?
Do I want higher taxes?
Do I think the government can spend my money better than I can?
Do I honestly feel like a move towards socialist ideals is in the best interest of America?

And most importantly, do I want a conservative or liberal judge appointed to the supreme court when that time comes?

Recently, the supreme court closely ruled that U.S. citizens do, in fact, have the right to own guns - showing that 5 out of the 9 judges are still capable of reading and basic comprehension. The second amendment apparently wasn't clear enough, but it has been saved, at least, for now. With such a close decision, it's important we retain good judges in the Supreme Court.

So no matter how much I like Obama, I'm simply not going to vote for someone who wants MORE social programs, MORE government, MORE taxes, and MORE control over my life. This isn't secret - this isn't bias, this is the difference between conservative and liberal ideologies. The difference between less government and more government.

This quote from Obama really sealed the deal for me:

"We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times ... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK."

I believe in being nice to our environment and all, but ultimately I don't think we should be accountable to other countries for how we live our lives here in America. We've worked hard to get where we are! What we do is not the business of any other country! It's like saying the rich kids in High School have to stop driving BMWs because it's making the poor kids feel bad. That's life!

So I'm going to vote for the moron. McCain, the last person I expected to actually get the nomination. The idiot who doesn't know how much gas costs right now and who doesn't even know how to use a computer. The idiot who will probably enact stupid laws regarding digital freedoms and other things I care about. The guy so dumb I'd almost rather have Bush for another 4 years.

Unfortunately with no good candidate, I have to vote for damage control, not for who I actually like. Who will screw up the country more? I think a liberal enviro-zeolot is far worse than a stupid conservative. At least nobody will like McCain, making it so he probably won't be able to do much. That way we can stay in a holding pattern for four years until another candidate comes along - hopefully one with some principle.

At least McCain is more likely to put a literate judge in the supreme court. At least McCain still believes in a majority of our rights. At least McCain is less likely to start up a bunch of stupid freedom-sucking, expensive, and ultimately ineffective social programs.

But alas, the elections are ineffective. McCain is so bad I almost thing the whole thing is rigged to get us all to vote for Obama. (What book was it where that happened - fahrenheit 451?). The two part system has failed us. Unfortunately I don't think we can get rid of it.

I'd like to think that voting for someone you don't like takes a certain degree of intellegence and the ability to look at the macro-realities of our country.

So with that I'll leave you with an excerpt from George Washington's farewell speech, where he basically says that a party system will destroy America.

I have already intimated to you the danger of parties in the State, with particular reference to the founding of them on geographical discriminations. Let me now take a more comprehensive view, and warn you in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the spirit of party generally.

This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human mind. It exists under different shapes in all governments, more or less stifled, controlled, or repressed; but, in those of the popular form, it is seen in its greatest rankness, and is truly their worst enemy.

The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders and miseries which result gradually incline the minds of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction, more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of public liberty.

Without looking forward to an extremity of this kind (which nevertheless ought not to be entirely out of sight), the common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.
It serves always to distract the public councils and enfeeble the public administration. It agitates the community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms, kindles the animosity of one part against another, foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign influence and corruption, which finds a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passions. Thus the policy and the will of one country are subjected to the policy and will of another."

And you can read the entire speech here.

If you haven't heard of Design By Humans, they make the coolest T-Shirts for guys and girls I have seen just about anywhere.

Here is a coupon for gthing.net readers ONLY:

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Go to designbyhumans.com and use the code at checkout for 20% off plus maybe* a free iTunes gift card worth $10.

* = Turns outs they don't give out the $10 iTunes gift card unless a lot of people use the coupon. Sorry for the confusion. Still, tell all your friends to increase our chances!

One of the most awesome things about Netflix is that you are allowed to have User Profiles. In my case, that means my room mate Dean can "give" me one of the three slots he has available for renting movies. I have my own account, ratings, profile, friends, etc.

Netflix just announced they will be removing this feature. Not only are they removing it, but they're deleting my profile too. All the ratings I have taken considerable time to make will be deleted. My queue will disappear. They actually suggested printing out my queue and re-entering all the movies into the master account. Wow, really? Netflicks couldn't even be bothered with the hours-long project of creating a migration tool.

"Please remember that suggestion emails are not sent to Netflix Customer Service"

The first thing you need to do when you become a billionaire is figure out your living arrangements. Are you going to go with a private island fortress or a New York city high-rise full of servants and money?

For the longest time, I was a private island kind of guy. I wanted to stockpile food and guns on an island somewhere and hold up until the day I die (hopefully in a battle with pirates - YAR!). The downside to this plan is the lousy Internet connection private islands have. I don't think Comcast offers service on uncharted islands, and the Satellites are going to be all shot down in the impending apocalypse.

Of course, I could run my own fiber lines across the sea, but that just seems like a big headache. Not that I couldn't afford it - I definitely could. I'm a billionaire.

Anyway, I've decided I want the best of both worlds. What I'm going to do is purchase an old decommissioned battleship - the kind with big guns all over it - and have it transported and plopped down right in the middle of Utah lake. I don't care what it takes. Take it apart piece by piece, fly it over with a fleet of helicopters, whatever, I'll pay for it. I'm a billionaire.

So now that I have my island fortress in the middle of Utah lake, I'd throw all sorts of awesome parties. They would be super exclusive and you'd have to wear a tuxedo or whatever you call super nice things that girl's wear (suit is to tuxedo as dress is to ??? - dress again?). There would be a little ferry to bring people to my party mansion boat and everything.

One of the greatest things about the ferry would be that you wouldn't tell people that it's invite only, but then you'd check for invites after people have gotten on the ferry. Then you (well not you, one of your servants) would throw them off the boat for not having an invitation! How great would that be - Tuxedo-clad throngs washing up on the shores of Utah lake!

There is probably a law against putting a battleship in the middle of Utah Lake, but it doesn't matter. A.) It's a battleship, who's going to mess with me? and B.) I'm a billionaire.

Here is a picture of my boat being transported through the sky by tons of helicopters. This is, by definition, super awesome.

There's my battleship sitting in the middle of Utah Lake. Majestic, isn't it?

All of the guns will be retro-fitted with giant paint balls that we will shoot at cars on I-15.

The search continues to find that perfect tall kid shirt. I thought I'd give you all a little update.

First of all, I actually stepped foot into a big and tall clothing store. There is one about 1/4 mile from my house and I hadn't been to one since I was 12 or so with my dad - who fits into the "big" category. I remember the clothes there being super-ultra lame but I thought things might have changed in the last 15 years.

I was wrong. Check out these winners:

Yea, people usually can't tell that I'm tall by simply looking at me, I feel the need to have it printed really big on my T-Shirt. A shirt that advertises what it is is about the lamest, most tacky thing I can think of. "Hey guys, I found a shirt big enough for me - and guess what? I says 'BIG' right on it to remind me!"

I also like that they have attempted to be hip by making a shirt that has rims on it, complete with the same stupid "BIG" on it and a "tag" that looks like it was done by a retarded Smurf and an etch-a-sketch.

Thank you, Big Daddy Clothing Company, for insulting my intelligence and sense of self respect with your horrible, horrible shirts. By the way, I am available for freelance design work.

My findings on all the regular brands I tested were less than excellent, as noted below:

Bella - Bella was nice enough to send me a free shirt to try, but I was ultimately disappointed by the length. While their measurements show that they are a few inches longer than American Apparel, I found that they were probably the shortest of all the shirts I tested. If you're a regular sized human, though, you will find their shirts are extraordinarily soft, comfortable and high quality. On my tall shirt rating scale I just made up, I am giving them a 4/10.

Hanes - Hanes is pretty much the worst shirt going for tall people. They don't start out tall, and they get ever shorter when you wash them. If you're tall, don't bother with Hanes. 2/10.

Fruit of the Loom - Fruit of the loom is pretty much just a Hanes clone (or is it the other way around?). They are even slightly shorter than Hanes, so I'll give them a 1/10.

Gildan - Gildan is actually not bad. They give the same length measurements as Hanes (30 inches), but seem to be a little bit taller and better fitting. I think one or two Gildan shirts have actually made it into my regular rotation of shirts. One thing about Gildan though, is that they don't seem to hold up to washing as well as other shirts - so be careful there. Still not perfect, but borderline acceptable - 6/10.

American Apparel - A quick inventory of my closet will reveal that A.) I don't ever do my laundry and all my clothes are in a pile on the floor and B.) most of those clothes are made by American Apparel. Yes, I'd say a good 90% of my shirts are made by them.

Mostly I have just their standard shirt, but recently they came out with a new "summer shirt" that is awesome for tall people. It is entirely acceptable, although it kinda has weird sleeves and isn't available in anything other than ultra-light weight. However, it is the best generic shirt I have found up to this point.

It should be noted, though, that Dov Charney is perhaps the biggest douche on the planet, resulting in a love/hate relationship with American Apparel. I do enjoy the silent judgements that come from the store employees whenever I visit, though.

As much as I love how the shirts fit, I still find myself phasing them out after a few washes, and needing to buy new shirts. 7.5/10.

J. Crew - I found out that J. Crew makes tall sizes, but they're too lazy to stock them in their stores. That's fine though, since tall people never care about trying on the clothes that they buy. I placed a huge order with them when they were having a sale and got a whole box of shirts in various styles - all sized for tall folks like myself.

My initial thought and comparison with my current American Apparel stock was that the J. Crew stuff was no longer than any other brand of shirt. Real world testing, however, showed them to be of acceptable tallness (tallitude factor) and very high quality and comfortable. Most importantly, they seem to stand up well to washing and don't shrink noticeably.

Again, although they do not appear to be taller than my American Apparel stuff, they do "feel" a bit taller if that makes sense. J. Crew also holds the honor of being the only shirt I've ever worn where someone commented on how nice it fit me. I'd recommend their tall sizes in everything but thermal long sleeve shirts, which feel too short in the body. 8/10.

Design By Humans - I happened upon these guys by accident when I won a free T-Shirt at some show I went to. Their designs are awesome and pretty much just what I'm looking for. At first, their shirts appear to be American Apparel, but as it turns out they are just an American Apparel wanna-be. I wrote the company and I believe they said they source their shirts from overseas.

The shirt I won fit pretty well, so I hoped online and ordered a few more. I quickly learned that their sizes are not at all consistent, and none of the three shirts I got fit the same. Out of all of them, I think one is still in my rotation, but two have been phased out due to sizing issues. Seriously go check them out though, they have the best designed T-shirts I've seen. Unfortunately I would not order from them again because I don't know what I'd get. 7/10.

---

That's all the testing I've done so far, but I have some more things that I will try in the future. Most importantly, I found a number of companies actually do make tall sized but, like J.Crew, are too lazy to stock them in their stores. There is also a new company called Thin Lojic that looks very promising but doesn't launch for a couple of months. If I'm still alive by then, I'll let you know how they do against the current bunch.

Carson out.

With news of the new iPhone coming out, AT&T had updated their plans in preparation for the next big wave of iPhone subscribers. As you probably would have guessed (since we're talking about a cellphone company here), they're squeezing more money out of you this time. $10/month to be exact.

The breakdown:
Voice Plan - $40/mo for 450 voice minutes
Data Plan - $30/mo for unlimited 3G Data

So at minimum, you're paying $70/mo. This probably won't even satisfy most users who use more than 450 minutes a month. The next plan up is a $20 jump so you're now paying $90/mo.

Yes, while every other piece of technology gets cheaper every day, somehow cell phone plans just keep getting more and more expensive.

Let's compare this to Sprint's offering:

The Sprint SERO plan (which anyone can get by going to a Sprint store and retrieving an employee's phone number from their business card) is like this:
Voice Plan - $30/mo for 500 Minutes
Data Plan - included/ Unlimited
Text Messaging - included/Unlimited

So $30 on Sprint or $70 on AT&T (and keep in mind AT&T isn't even throwing in unlimited free texting).

What is AT&T thinking? They have failed to remain competitive on plans.