My dear readers. Today I am going to make you rich. I am going to tell you how to start your very own multi level marketing company. Multi-Level Marketing is a fancy way of saying "pyramid scheme." But don't worry, your company won't be a pyramid scheme, it will be a pyramid money making system on a rocket ship to planet cha-ching!

The first thing you have to do is travel to some island in the middle of an ocean somewhere. If you are not cannibalized by the local tribe, then you have to purchase (possibly with gold or shrunken heads) their entire supply of whatever fruit grows on the island. Name the fruit something like "Nagoya Love Fruit" or "Fresklish wonder fruit." Now in your marketing campaign you can claim to have the entire world supply of this fruit, thus eliminating any possibility that people can compete with you.

Jubalaya X-treme awesome fruit!

While you're on the island, take some picture of the locals. This will help in your marketing materials when you start claiming that when you drink juice made from your wonder-fruit you will live a happier, healthier, and/or fuller life. Also be sure to include pictures of old white people walking horses on the beach - that works every time. Have a meeting where you make up benefits for your new juice. Here's some ideas to get you started:

• Encourages fingernail growth
• Counteracts cellphone radiation
• Eliminates foot hair

Just make sure all your claims sound good and that none of them could possibly be disproved without several millions of dollars in research.

Now that you have your product and marketing materials, you need to find 50 friends to take part in this scam opportunity. When people object and say that they've already heard of some other brand of magic juice, just roll your eyes and say something like "yea, those are good I guess, it's just crazy because ours actually works." Hell, claim that you came up with the idea and all those other companies copied you. Tell people that you started all those companies in a quest to find the perfect formula and once you found it your started this company. People who are dumb enough to buy into your system won't do background checks.

The next step is optional: Live in Utah. People haven't even read about the greed and sloth commandments out here (numbers 3 and 4 on the big 10). They're ready for any get rich quick scheme you throw at them.

After that you can pretty much sit back and watch the dough roll in. As all your dumb friends set up their very own businesses, you will be raking in millions within a few weeks: all from home without even leaving the couch. And also, somehow someone gets a Ferrari.