Movie Review: Wanted

Wanted it what happens when writers go on strike and studio executive have to hire their own children to write the movies for them. Seriously, this movie is something straight out of the mind of a hyperactive 8 year old.
I spent most of the movie laughing hysterically. Like when the car is heading straight for a police barricade so Angelina Jolie pulls a hard turn hits a crack in the road (yes, a crack) which causes the car to do a flip OVER the police barricade onto the street on the other side, speeding off in a different direction than the direction which it was flying, breaking all known laws of physics in the process.
What is amazing is the fact that this isn't a forgivable one time offense. The characters in Wanted flip their cars around more than Jason Statham in The Transporter, with ever increasing amounts of absurdity in their stunts.
But Wanted isn't about driving. No, it's about some guy who finds out he was destined to become an assassin and then is trained by an elite fraternity to have all sorts of super human killing powers. By the way, it only takes six weeks to go from asthmatic cubicle nerd to badass assassin - for anyone who is interested all it takes it being tied to a chair and getting beat up a lot then passing out in baths of donut glaze.
Probably the most ridiculous part of the movie is where Angelina Jolie (who they paid just enough to be in the movie, but not enough to speak any lines) teaches the cubicle nerd how to "curve bullets." We're not even talking slight curves either, these guys can make bullets take 90 degree turns mid flight and kill people around corners. They can shoot suicidal bullets in complete circles. They can curve bullets from one end of the city to the other around obstacles, people, trains - whatever.
It sounds like something out of The Matrix, but unfortunately it's set in the real world. The only explanation offered for their super-human bullet curving powers is that they can make their hearts beat at 400 time per minute which somehow - instead of instantly killing them - makes all time slow down around them. Absurdity level high.
I kept thinking this was a comedy, but according to what I've seen on the Internet and heard from other people, this was apparently a serious action movie. The attempts that it did make at humor were just depressing and tragic.
In short, I would definitely recommend seeing this movie. It has earned its place in my top five worst movies ever seen.
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Wanted is also the second
Wanted is also the second movie this summer to be about a kid gaining super-human abilities through training in just a few weeks.
The trick is really montage learning. If we here in the real world could only harness the power of montage learning we could become infinitely better at everything in a short period of time.
If it's a fraternity who let
If it's a fraternity who let the chick in? Is it some kind of fraternity/sorority mixer with guns? Sounds awesome.
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