One Ring to Rule Them All (How to get your site in a webring)

Let's face it, there are awesome websites and there are lame websites. There are also websites that are in the middle and some websites that are neither awesome or lame - just there.
So how do you make sure your website is set apart as an awesome one, and not dragging along in the mud with the lame ones? The answer is simple: join a webring.
What is a WebRing?
Think of a WebRing as an exclusive club filled with only the elite members of the internet who share your same interests. For example, if you are interested in cats, you could find a webring full of only the best sites dealing with cats. Sites that don't have enough good stuff about cats can't be in the webring, they have to make it on their own.
How does a webring work?
A webring works like a big ring of websites. Each website has a forward and back button placed on it that you can push to go to the next or previous site in the ring. This makes it easy to browse around on all sorts of different sites that are only about what you are interested in.
So how do I get on an awesome webring?
First of all, don't get your hopes up. These guys are exclusive! Prepare yourself early for disappointment, because not just anybody can get into a webring. First, you need to find the webring you want to join. Then you need to submit your site.
Now you wait. Member of the webring will hold a meeting and review your site. One member must decide to sponsor your submission and bring it before the webring council. After discussion and evidence is heard for and against your site, they will hold a silent vote. This is like the playoffs.
If your site receives a majority of the votes, you will go to the next round of ratification. All the sites that have submitted themselves to the webring have their URLs written on an item owned by the proprietor of the site. This is sometimes a piece of clothing or a few hairs from the head placed in a small baggie. Your webring will tell you what you need to provide.
All the objects are then lined up and a diving rod is employed to pick out the very best ones. Only a small fraction of those who submitted their sites will be chosen. Again, prepare yourself for disappointment.
This process normally takes place at midnight on the first full moon after a 30 day waiting period from when you turned in your site. Don't get discouraged if you haven't heard back within a month or so, just check your almanac to find out when the next full moon is.
I got accepted! Now what?
Congratulations, you've made it! the first thing your new webring bretheren will want you to do is come to their headquarters for initiation rites. This may involved flying (at your own expense) to some other part of the country, or simply meeting everyone online in a designated chat room. Don't be nervous though, you've already been accepted.
Initiation rites differ from ring to ring, but usually involve drinking the blood of an innocent and taking dark oaths regarding what content you will allow on your site. These rites are administered by the Grand WebRing Wizard or one of his underlords. Nobody really knows who the Grand Wizard is, but some believe it is the WYYZZRD.COM (that's his name, not his web address).
These rites take place only once per year during the ancient festival of death as calibrated by the druids during the dark ages. Other festivities include sacrificing the best of the flock, taking blood oaths, painting your faces black, and pin the tail on the demon. Expect to be out of communication for up to a week while these rites and festivities are taking place.

How will this change my life and my website?
Being the member of a webring is no small thing. Many people can't handle the pressure of the monthly secret meetings and union dues. But if you can stay in the webring, you will see increased targeted traffic to your website.
Some awesome sites that have already joined webrings:
Escobar Status
Some other guy
Awesome Poetry and Skull Pictures!!!1!


who are you and how dare you
who are you and how dare you divulge the ancient ceremonies and oaths of the ancient order of the web rings? The demon that we pin the tale on is actually the people we catch leaking our secrets. Watch your back (butt).
i don't think i could ever
i don't think i could ever join on of these elite rings. my blog isn't entertaining whatsoever and i mainly just rant about things.
maybe i could start a webring of lame sites. you know to oppose the "elite". that would be fun. it would be kind of like geeks against jocks, but more lame.
i just used the word lame a bunch of times. how lame!
Streaming live from
Streaming live from broadbrain.
So that's what I need to
So that's what I need to do.
ahahhaha!
(found yer site via bobthecow's technorati faves)
Wow. When I saw "webring" I
Wow. When I saw "webring" I just had to read it. I haven't seen the term in years; I mean back when GeoCities was cool and everyone used it. I thought the whole webring thing died like six years ago. I guess some things just die hard...
i was visitor 89 to that one
i was visitor 89 to that one guys website. or maybe his counter already hit 9999999 and i was actually visitor 10000089...
i think you're boosting his search engine rankings.
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